Sep 24, 2009


I'm still excited of my 120 palette, so I did another look with using it. And I'm really trying to feel comfortable with blue's.
No videos today *g*

MAC Painterly p/p
120 palette greens and blues
MAC Chartreuse pigment
Wet'n'Wild Megaliner
MAC Smoothblue techakohl eye pencil
MF FLE mascara

An the whole look. I first photoshopped my cheekline away, since I hate them. I've always had them, but especially now that I have gained a lot of weight, they are enormous.
But anyway, I decided to include non-photoshopped picture too. My skin actually untouched, so it's in quite good condition now:

I know I have some serious problems with my self-esteem. I've been bullied of my weight for my whole life. And they are right, I am fat, though I always haven't been, and they still bullied me.
That's why live videos were so big deal to me. I know that people can be awfully evil, especially if they get to be anonymous. :/

I actually read an article of Lauren Luke aka. panacea81, and I was amazed that she has been bullied too, and that she is apparently self-taught and single mom. So she's just an avarage human, just like me. Maybe I can be that kind of phenomenon some day? It really gave me hope.

But ANYWAY, enough whining, I'm of to post office to pick my Stargazer package!


  1. I absolutely think that you are beautiful. I have also been bullied, it started that one girl was jealous about me going out with her ex. She even had her group of friends picking on me. I wasn't overweight when it started, but as a result I gained weight, which gave them even more to bully me about. People that tease don't know how much it effects the person teased. I am still unsure of myself sometimes, I have become have become more sure of myself with age. I am 36 (yikes) and some days I still feel unsured about myself.

    I still feel alot better as I got older, but why should anyone have to feel that they aren't good enought just because of their weight and looks.

    I think that you are beautiful, and as long as you belive it everyone else will too.

    I really enjoy watching your makeup videos and photos and I hope that you will continue and that you will feel more confident about yourself.

    Thank you very much for sharing your story with us.

  2. I'm sorry to erad tht peaople aer mean to you because of weight or anything...

    Those who do that here, about make up, are obviously jealous fo your huge make up artist talent ; so, rather than trying themselves to rise and learn, they prefer to destroy others.

    There will always be people like that.
    But there won't be often people like you, so be couragous and go on, your talent deserves to be exposed.
    For our pleasur to us, non-jealous people, because we exist and we are many ;-)

  3. PS : and sorry for the keyboard errors ;-)

  4. Sweetie I think you are a gorgeous woman, who cares if you have a few pounds to lose, most woman do? (and I was practically obese at some point so I feel I can say these things).
    You are incredibly talented and that's what people will see in you unless they're jealous and worthless.
    So please keep on the great job!

    Oh and I want a 120 palette now :-)))))

  5. Hi Jangsara ! I don't know much about makeup, but I find yours fascinating. I've never seen such a beautiful work, especially coming from a self taught person. I'm so admirative ! There's no doubt you'll be a phenomenon.

    There will always be people who dislike you, and show it in a violent way. Actually it's useful : it raises awareness of the love others have for you... so you shouldn't care and just do things tha way you want. And be yourself, no matter weight or cheeklines or anything ;-)

  6. Oh and I'm sorry for my English. French people are so bad at languages :-(

  7. Wow..this look is beautiful and it's hard for me to admit it because I hate green and blue eyeshadows, I could never make a decent makeup combining these 2 colors, but on your eyes looks absolutely beautiful.You are really talented. I also like that the eyeshadows are so well blended, you can't see any harsh lines:)It must be the key to a great makeup

  8. OK that's it, I ordered the palette and I blame you for that ;-))

  9. This look is gorgeous. You are very talented and DO NOT need Photoshop. You're very pretty. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. By the way, I'm so jealous of your skin, haha! What do you do to it? :)

  10. wow, you did a good job on combining those color. Love it..

  11. You're all so sweet!

    Swedishlina, I don't actually know why my bullying started in the first place, I wasn't really overweighth at age 8 :/
    I'm really trying to get over all the bad words and continue my makeup tutorials and stuff *g*

    Hélène, you people are the reason I go on, and what's most important, keep me improving! <3

    Musing on Beauty, "few pounds" is more like 100 Lbs, but anyway ;D
    And I'm hoping to "hide my flaws" behind makeup :D
    AND congatulations of your 120 color palette, I'm sure you gonna love it! Most of the colors are sooo pigmenteted and easy to use, and the colors are just AMAZING *g*

    Alex, thanks for encouraging words! You're absolutely right, I should turn the bad things into good ones somehow :D And I really hope I'll noticed some day in my home country too :D So I'll keep waiting the miracle ;D

    Tavia, I personally think tha blending is the key. Of course you can use harsh lines, but have to do it on purpose, so it'll look good.
    And I'm really pushing myself to use blues :D

    lazybeautiful, my skin is either good or very bad, it's condition changes daily.
    I use some "daylotion", if I remember, and the I use Smashbox Photo Finish primer, Revlon Colorstay foundation, MAC Mineralize Skinfinish Natural, and Wet'n'Wild Covel All palette as consealer :D But there's no need to be jealous, even if my cheeks and forehead are in good condition, my chin looks like shit. It's always in horrible condition :D

    Tina, thanks <3

  12. I do not understand why people can be so rude to other! It is merely jealousy in my opinion, they think you are talented like most of us do, but as they can not achieve the same, they feel frustrated and react by attacking you... Like children do. Keep going you are truly gifted (and beautiful, who has decide that beauty has anything to do with weight?)

  13. Hi. I found your blog through the MakeUpGeek blog. I love your work. Your photography is fabulous and your makeup artistry is unbelievable. The work that you create is better than most I have seen. I am not the "norm" blogger/viewer of makeuup sites. I am a 50 year old woman and am VERY picky about who I follow. Your work is awesome! Never doubt yourself. The bullies were and are all losers!



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